In this episode of Movies Are Dumb Sometimes, you get a mix of two movies that really don’t belong together – Spirit Untamed and Fast and Furious 9. Well, maybe they can go together – both are a form of action and contain a lot of speed! However, one could say they are directed towards two totally different audiences.
Or maybe just the same audience – 10 year old boys!
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Transcript for Spirit Untamed and Fast and Furious 9 – Movies Are Dumb Sometimes!
0:00
Spirit Untamed, Fast and Furious Nine…You might be thinking to yourself, what in the blue heck do these two movies have in common? Well, when your pen runs out from your note taking during one movie and you just completely forgot your notebook on the other movie, you’re not going to have a whole list of everything that you thought was dumb sometimes in the movies. So here we go. We’re talking to kids film Spirit Untamed in an action film, Fast and Furious 9.
0:41
Spirit Untamed, was a kid’s movie. And you know, you cannot judge a kid’s movie as much because kids movies definitely are there for the children. But the parents don’t have to sit through dumb sometimes moments like at the beginning of the movie when you have squirrels that apparently can open doors.
1:02
But before we get into the movie, you saw the trailer, if you saw the trailer, you would know that Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams” is like the song for the trailer. And the song is like about a man that she’s in love with, I think, I mean, I’ve seen the music video, it has Clint Eastwood’s son in it. She’s talking about how he’s in her wildest dreams. I think that’s what the song is about.
1:30
But then you put it on this movie. And it’s about a girl who like falls in love with his horse and this horse, wild horse. And the horse is returning, you know, like, she thinks she’s cool, too. And it’s like, “Okay, this song isn’t the right song for this movie.”
1:47
But one thing I really did like about this movie is that it tried to actually give distance in the sound. Like, for example, the beginning of the movie, there were two ladies on horses. And there was….one lady was farther back from the main character Lucky. And the lady that was farther back, her voice was sounded like it was farther away. It wasn’t just as loud as the voice is the lady in front of her. And I really appreciated that. And that-this movie should already win an Oscar for audio mixing or something. I don’t know. Movies don’t do that. And it’s such a simple thing. Maybe not so simple. But it’s something that movies should be doing, if you ask me. But obviously, like it was like when you see – when two people are talking to each other at a normal voice, but you see it you’re you’re getting close ups of them. But they’re like 20 feet apart. Like people 10 feet apart, don’t talk normally to each other.
2:57
Shortly into the film, The aunt to Lucky falls into some mud pies, where there were a bunch of cattle and she gets up and she’s pretty much clean. I’m not sure how she did that.
3:08
One of my favorite characters in the movie. Well, it’s the team of what’s her name Abigail’s little brother Spits, I think his name is and his little donkey Senor Carrots. These two were hilarious. They – I feel like if they get their own movie or something, it’s gonna ruin them. But they were perfect little side rules in this movie, and they’ve nailed it on the spot.
3:38
One thing I didn’t like was the introduction of the bad guy. Oh, what was his name? Hendricks. There is one scene in this movie. You see it – they show you in the trailer they show you in the trailer how dumb this movie is! And if I just didn’t see almost every movie that came out, I probably wouldn’t have seen it for this. But sometimes trailers lie and this possibly could have been one of those moments, but it wasn’t!
4:04
Abigail in Pru or chasing Lucky because spirits going wild. And Abigail and Pru are chasing Lucky like I said and lucky falls over the edge of a cliff and Spirit jumps over and he makes it but she’s falling and Abigail and Pru both reach down from their horses that are running at full speed in grab Lucky before she falls.
4:33
Now just think about how physically impossible that is. Okay, now that you’ve done that we can move on.
4:45
Oh, yeah, I had to look up it was Hendricks okay. Yeah, trust yourself sometimes, you know, but he just like appears in the back of the cart to save Lucky. And he seemed pretty cool, but you knew he was the bad guy but then him in his gang, they, I guess they’re failed bank robbers and then their next thing that they’re doing is steal- like rounding up wild horses and selling them off. I don’t know. Like, especially with how untamed Spirit is, I’m not sure how great of an idea that is for these people. But anyways, oh yeah, I don’t. It wasn’t, I don’t know, I-I feel like they could have come up with something better than a bunch of robbers are gonna domesticate some horses and sell them off. And I guess they are splitting up the horse family but…lazy writing, if you ask me.
5:52
And another thing is then that dream sequence in the movie where you were in, you’re watching the trailer you don’t know if the dream sequence and that’s one thing I don’t really enjoy with kids being the protagonist, and then they become super awesome. And they can just beat up adults. It seems like sometimes not even superhero. Sometimes it’s Oh, it drives me nuts like children are not. I don’t know. Okay, I’ll hammer that theory out later.
6:21
But let’s just say in the trailer, it shows Abigail and Lucky and Tru going and beating upor Pru, Pru are beating up. Now I gotta look. Hold on. Oh, yeah, it was Pru. I was like, if it was true, I would have thought of true calling. True Davies.
6:41
But yeah, it showed the kids beating up the adults that ended up being a dream sequence and the trailer didn’t give any indication that it was a dream sequence in the movie really, it doesn’t either. Because there’s no there’s it’s just normal, it looks normal. But we don’t need kids beating up adults like that. And that’s cool that it was a dream sequence. Now there’s one scene where Lucky is surrounded by the wild horses. And she has a whole bunch of apples. And she’s like rolling them out to the horses, but the way they’re getting rolled out doesn’t make sense. If you watch them, I think maybe I wasn’t I just didn’t see it. Because my notepad, I ended up writing notes, but they were really hard to see because there was no ink. So I had to like color it in. And it kind of worked. But I was a little upset the fact that my pen wouldn’t work.
7:35
But there’s these apples rolling and then they change direction, which I guess I’m looking into it too much. But you know, continuity, if you have 30 million – $50 million, or whichever this movie made, continuity shouldn’t be that big of an issue. Now, the dumbest moment in the movie, I will claim, is when they came to a, like a little ditch, well, not little ditch, the horses had to jump over. This canyon type thing was the tiny canyon I don’t know what you call a tiny canyon, but Lucky and Spirit try to jump in, they slip and they fall and it’s not like they fell four feet, five feet, six feet, they they took a tumble. And within 10 seconds of taking the tumble. They’re both back up like nothing happened. I understand it’s a cartoon. And not all parents – this is what worries me – is not all parents are gonna say hey, that wouldn’t happen if you like yeah, the kids are gonna see this and go oh, hey, I can jump then fall down like that. And I was like, ah, there should have been like in pro wrestling they call it selling when you get hurt. She should both of them should have sold some injuries but they didn’t.
9:00
And then then did the girls get drunk? Cuz they passed out and slept through. I mean, I know they didn’t have alarms but the sun was coming up and none of them woke up and they weren’t in any shade. I just thought it was kind of weird that they all slept so long. But you know what they did do – is they:
9:25
~Joined up the joined up. When the bad guys are coming in the dream and you don’t have any weapons. You got to join up. Join up!~
9:40
That’s all it’s gonna be in my head forever.
10:06
All right, on to Fast and Furious 9. Of course, this this franchise was I’m swear every movies written by a six year old and then a 10 year old goes, “This looks great!”
10:20
And then an 11 year old goes, “Aw, we need to put more explosions in it!”
10:26
And then the seven year old goes, “That sounds like an awesome idea!”
10:30
And then somehow they get 50 million to 100 million to $200 million to make a movie. But let’s just start off with some of the things I remember from Fast and Furious 9.
10:42
Dominic, since I forgot my notebook, Dominic and Letty. They’re in their retired quote, unquote, they’re in their little remote cabin. Everything’s great with the kid and everything. And then oh, no, a truck is pulling up. Unannounced!
11:02
They open up their little weapons, like cache they have in their garage. And what are they pull out? A pistol and a shotgun. Now these – this pistol in the shotgun didn’t seem to have any special abilities or anything. But why would you choose though – a shotgun I can get. I mean, I can get both of them. But if you have a rifle, in that situation, why are you not using a rifle? Oh, it’s cuz you’re Dominic Toretto. Dominic, Dominc Toretto.
11:38
In the beginning ofthe movie, The cool thing about the trailer – well, not the cool thing – but one good thing about the trailer is that most of the action sequences that I remembered from seeing in the trailer was from the beginning of the movie, which is how I think trailers should try to sell the movies, but that’s just me talking.
11:55
They’re going to pick up something from this plane. It’s super quiet. They’re like, “Oh, this place is super dangerous. These people are nuts!” I forget what country they they’re in. But they’re like, “Oh, this is not gonna you know, this is gonna be a dangerous situation!”
12:11
And they get there and it is dead quiet. This plane crashed and nobody’s looking for anything. Not like anything at all. And the whole time I’m just thinking, “You all should know better. You all should have some sort of surveillance up. You also” somebody should be keeping guard. But nobody seemed to be keeping guard.
12:47
I’m just going to kind of jump around because I’m really going off of memory. Jakob, Dom’s brother, played by the man, you can’t see John Cena. They capture him and they put them in a room. And then they sit there right next to the room. And john cena there’s this room is not soundproof. And they’re just explaining away all of the [things they know] just right there in front of the bad guy. I don’t know why you would do that.
13:17
I don’t know who’s who I don’t know. Like maybe the seven year old forgot – this was the seven year old’s job was to watch the movie and go, “Hey, this looks kind of stupid guys. Let’s take it out.” But no, they he’s right out in the open, just explaining that this one girl is the key to what all of the bad people in the world are looking for. She’s right there. And nobody knows except like two people. Now, Jakob knows the main bad guy just because let’s that’s usually what the bad guys do. The bad guys brag about things. It’s not that good guys were bragging about things they just should have known better and not spoke all the secrets right in front of the bad guy.
14:03
And then shortly after that Dominic toretto is fighting off 50 bad guy well like more like 10 to 15. But hey, there’s somehow pulling a Braun Strowman and just fighting off all of these guys, barely getting bruised in the process. And one of the things that I was mostly upset about was the fact that Ludicrous is lying in the trailer when John’s seen his car gets picked up by that plane. He goes, “Dang, they got a magnet plane!?” Like that line wasn’t even in the movie. I don’t think I like in that scene where it happens in the trailer. I’m like, oh, watching them all. I I don’t know why. To me. It was funny. But it’s not even in the movie!
14:49
False advertising! Ugh!
14:52
And then who pulled up at the end? This when Dominic was like “There’s one more, There’s one more seat! (grunts)” There was one more seat. It was obvious – way too obvious that it was Jakob. If it was Jakob, it could be Brian. There is enough CGI out there and he does have a brother. They did kind of fool us at the very end of Fast and Furious 7.
15:21
So that’s all I have to say about Fast and Furious. It wasn’t – it was you got to go out and see these movies in theaters unless you have a complete awesome setup at home. But it sucks because action movies is this – they’re not the same at home. I don’t think that any other movie makes use of, or any other genre makes use of a movie theater, like action does.
15:49
And on that note, make sure to follow Movies Are Dumb Sometimes on Twitter @MoviesAreDumbS or on Facebook @MoviesAreDumbSometimes. If you want to see where all the podcasts you can get. Movies Are Dumb Sometimes go to bloafx.com/moviesaredumbsometimes. Some include breaker, iTunes, Stitcher Anchor Anchor-Thank you Anchor. I’m sure we had an ad play here and then between these two movies, but thank you Anchor for allowing my pod cast dreams to come true. All right. Remember, be quiet in the movie theaters everybody.
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