Standing at the gate to Forward Operating Base Patriot in Mosul, Iraq one afternoon, we receive word of an incoming convoy. My team, outfitted in “cool guy gear,” opens the gate and a small convoy of Marines pulls through.
A couple of the Marines look at me curiously. After they park, they approach me.
“What is all of that?” one Marine ponders as he points to my M249 Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW for short). I then check out his SAW, and I see where his curiosity comes from.
Marine Vs. Soldier, the Cool Guy Gear SAW Tale
Marines are world renowned for their weapon – their mind. Their mental state of being the best and invincible gets them the reputation of being as tough as they come.
I figured they would also get some of the best equipment. Boy was I wrong.
My SAW had thousands of dollars of upgrades over their standard issue saw. This made my SAW lighter, shorter, more maneuverable, and much better for urban environments.
What my SAW had over what the Marine’s SAW did not:
- Collapsible butt-stock. This made the saw lighter and more maneuverable, especially for urban tactics and mounting/dismounting out of the Stryker. ($669*)
- Short barrel. This slightly reduced the distance accuracy of the SAW, but it also shortened and lightened it as well. The barrels were easily taken off and put on the SAW, though, if I needed to. ($1,263.59*)
- HALO sight. This replaced the iron sights and it gave a small red reticle to acquire targets faster. It was a far superior piece of aiming technology, allowing engagements of enemies to be much quicker. ($501.96*)
- Surefire Taclight. This was a bright tactical flashlight that attaches to the rail system. It would greatly light up a room in the darkness. The downside of this piece was that it ate through batteries like a termite through wood. ($497*)
- Peq-2A. This was an invisible laser that allows its user to aim with laser accuracy in complete darkness. It can only be seen through night vision (although I had been told to not point at anyone’s eyes unless I wanted to blind them). My PVS-14 night vision goggles ($2395*) were a perfect match in the use of my Peq-2A. ($799*)
- The Nutsack**. I can’t recall what the real name of this magazine was, but it replaced the 200-round drum that was standard issue for the SAW. It was a 100-round pouch that, again, reduced the size and weight of the SAW. ($100*)
After the Marines walked away, boy howdy, did I ever feel great about not joining the Marine Corps!
But Does Cool Guy Gear Maketh Soldier?
As good as I felt about having so much superior equipment, it didn’t completely subdue the fact that I knew some bird brains in the Army. Some soldiers spent a lot of money on their cool guy gear, but I didn’t feel that it was really worth it.
What made me feel good, safe, and protected, were soldiers I knew I could count on…the soldiers I knew would have my back in a firefight. Unfortunately, I wonder if Marines were not as short in that department as the Army was.
But What Do Chicken Hawks Say about Cool Guy Gear?
Cool guy gear is the best at giving the perception that someone is a badass or “cool guy.” The majority (heck, if not all) of Chicken Hawks support spending an endless amount of money on the military. Some Chicken Hawks probably think you can never give enough equipment to the military?
But when is it enough? How much money is worth going to war over?
Let’s add up those numbers from the above cool guy gear:
669 + 1,263.59 + 501.96 + 2395 + 799 + 497 + 100 = $6225.55
That’s $6225.55 per SAW gunner, and every SAW gunner in my battalion had my cool guy gear. My squad had 2 SAW’s, my platoon had 3 squads, my company had 3 line platoons, and my battalion had 3 companies. 2 x 3 x 3 x 3 = 54 SAW gunners with cool guy gear in my battalion.
54 x 6225.55 = $336,179.70 – that’s possibly how much was spent on a battalion’s worth of SAW gunners, and this doesn’t even include the other SAW’s in other companies (like headquarters companies)!
Chicken Hawks don’t look at the little numbers or possibly even fathom the scope of what war costs. Even if my numbers on cool guy gear are drastically high and let’s say it actually only cost half, that’s $168,089.85 spent on 54 soldiers in the Army. Every other soldier in my company also had many upgrades to their gear as well.
Not to mention these are today’s numbers. $168,089.85 in 2003 was worth $237,951.28!
But how much does the new weapon system the Army is looking into cost? Don’t worry, The Hawk Bawk has already covered that!
Notes
*Prices for the listed items were found with quick searches and what closest resembled what I was issued in the Army circa 2002-2004. I have no record what the government paid for these items, but inflation and the fact the government tends to pay top dollar for equipment need to be considered.
**This nutsack isn’t the one we were issued, but used as a reference. Surprisingly, the featured photo has the nutsack I was issued!
***Could you think of any other way $168,089.85 could be used to help Americans in need instead of over a war with no end?
****Do you think government cares about price when they have guaranteed tax revenue and the Federal Reserve?
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